Reflection

It ain’t a craving. Ain’t hunger. It’s that goddamn ache. The one food used to smother. But I didn’t fold. Didn’t numb it. Didn’t sell myself out today. It fucking hurts. But I’m here. Still here. Still not eating over it. Still… Still aching. Still pissed. Still clawing toward 30.

Day 28 – Flinch The temptation today came fast.Sudden. Sharp. Smelled like old comfort. I flinched. Not a fall, but a stagger.Almost reached for the thing I swore off. But flinching ain’t failing. I paused. Breathed. Texted. Prayed. I stayed. Still…Still hungry—but not for food.Still dodging the old traps.Still calling it what it is: obsession.Still … Read more

Day 27 – Gut Check Today asked for honesty.And I didn’t want to give it. I wanted to lie by omission.I wanted to say, “Yeah, I’m fine.” But I wasn’t.And I didn’t. I reached out. I told on myself.And it helped. Because when I don’t gut-check, I gut-punch my recovery. This is where I stop … Read more

Day 26 – Smolder The fire didn’t go out—it just pulled back into coals.Low, red, steady. Waiting. It’s easy to think the passion’s gone when things quiet down.But maybe this isn’t apathy—maybe it’s conservation.Holding fuel for the next hard stretch.Resting, not quitting. The work’s still getting done.The prayers still go up.The food still gets weighed. … Read more

Something about milestones makes me twitchy.Day 20 is close and my addict brain knows it.That voice kicks in:“You’ve done well. You deserve a break.”That voice is a liar.I’ve broken more streaks than I can count—right before the breakthrough.Right before the clarity.Right before the habit could stick. There’s this fear that I don’t deserve to heal.So … Read more