Day 57 – Kitchen Table Prayer (prayer)
God,I’m not bowing in some cathedral.I’m at my kitchen table,coffee gone cold,heart beating too fast.But You’re here,and I need You.
Reflection
Deeper dives, thematic explorations (e.g. “Grace vs. Grit”)
Day 56 – Fuck Off, Addiction (poem)
Whisper softer,scream louder,I don’t care.Fuck off, addiction—you’ve had enough rent-free timein my skull.
Day 54 – Full Tank, Rough Road
Spiritually, I feel like I’ve got a full tank right now. Not because the road got smooth—hell no, it’s still full of potholes—but because I’m actually fueling up daily. Prayer, connection, food on plan. That’s my gas. That’s my grip on the wheel.
Day 52 – Chair Time
I sat my ass in the chair this morning and did my quiet time even though everything in me wanted to bolt. That’s my win today. Not perfect, not magical, but I showed up. Sometimes that’s the best move I’ve got—just stay in the chair.
Day 51 – Hollow Victory
Felt like I “won” today because I didn’t binge… but honestly, it was messy. Sloppy thoughts, lousy structure, half my program tools left in the shed. My addict brain was chirping, “See? You can slack and still make it.” Yeah, that’s how the refund process starts. I know better. Tomorrow I tighten the screws.
Day 49 – Return in Ashes (raw thought)
My program’s not shining right now—it’s ashes.But ashes mean there was fire once.And fire can come back.Today I strike a match.
Day 48 – The Exchange (poem)
I hand You my chaos,You hand me a breath.I give You my shame,You give me a little hope.We keep trading like this,and somehow I’m still in the fight.
Day 47 – The Scream (raw thought)
The addict voice is loud as hell right now.Keeps promising comfort, but I know the price tag.It’s been screaming for days.I’m still not buying.
Day 44 – Half Measures (raw thought)
Half measures are a back door for the addict to sneak in and wreck the place.I’ve been leaving it unlocked all week.Today I’m bolting it shut.Not playing that game.
Day 40 – Wilderness-Born
Reflection: The number 40 in Scripture ain’t cute.It’s never clean. Never easy.It’s floodwaters swallowing the earth (Genesis 7:12).It’s Moses on the mountain with no food but fire (Exodus 24:18).It’s Israel walking in circles, blistered and bitter (Numbers 14:33-34).It’s Jesus starving in the desert with Satan whispering (Matthew 4:2). Forty means fire.Forty means famine.Forty means fight. … Read more