Deeper dives, thematic explorations (e.g. “Grace vs. Grit”)
Rough day.Rough start, rough middle, rough everything. That damn voice…The addict voice wasn’t whispering today—it was fucking screaming.Full volume.“You can’t do this.”“One bite won’t matter.”“You’re tired. You deserve something.” Deserve?What I deserve is peace.What I deserve is freedom.What that voice wants is chaos. I rode the Struggle Bus all fuckin day.Slumped in the back seat.Sweaty … Read more
Something about milestones makes me twitchy.Day 20 is close and my addict brain knows it.That voice kicks in:“You’ve done well. You deserve a break.”That voice is a liar.I’ve broken more streaks than I can count—right before the breakthrough.Right before the clarity.Right before the habit could stick. There’s this fear that I don’t deserve to heal.So … Read more
Just got off a meeting.Because I’m on the edge.Not in a poetic way. Not in a “breakthrough” kind of way.In a “someone look at me wrong and I might lose it” kind of way. Tired. Restless. Pissed for no reason.And every reason. Didn’t want to pray.Didn’t want to hear one more person say “just for … Read more
Caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror today.Not just physically. Spiritually.I saw someone coming back to life.It was quick. But it was real.God, let me keep glimpsing that man. #ProgressNotPerfection #OneDayAtATime #FoodAddictionRecovery #SeeingChange #SpiritualAwakening #QuietTime #PrayerAndAction
Day 16 – Still Want to Eat I still wanna eat. I’m not hungry — just wired that way. Still feel that old flex, the muscle memory of years sneaking bites, finishing plates, grabbing just one more. It’s not gone. Not by a long shot. I’m sloppy. I know it. Not proud of it. I … Read more
When the focus is just for today, every day becomes Day One.Stay in the present. Be grateful. Do service.And above all else—live by no matter what.Don’t eat, no matter what.Make your calls, no matter what.Open that toolbox and swing that fucking hammer. Nail home your abstinence for one more day.You want to eat something? Eat … Read more
I made a mess of it. Not just the food. The day. The promises. The prayers.But God’s still here. And I’m still showing up.I heard a guy in a meeting say, “Nobody pissed me off today, so that was good.” His intention was simple: Don’t be a dick.Today, I’m borrowing that.No explosions. No martyrdom. No … Read more
I don’t know how to do this.But I can ask. #Willingness #AskForHelp #SpiritualSurrender #100DaysOfReturn
God, I don’t have the power. But I believe You do.Do what I can’t today. #StepOne #PowerGreaterThanMe #SpiritualRecovery #100DaysOfReturn
I made it past the moment. Just one. But it was the one that mattered.The sun started to shine through the cracks.I saw God in a breeze, in a smile from a stranger, in the quiet that followed the craving.Little mercies. Small graces.They were there all along—I just needed the fog to clear. #RecoveryChoice #AbstinenceJourney … Read more