Reflection

Poem: Tomorrow’s a big number.But today is still one more. So I’m grateful in advance.Grateful for waking up.Grateful I’m not lying again.Grateful my body didn’t breakunder the weight of what I used to do to it. Pre-thanking You, God.Not for perfection —but for progress. Still…Still grateful.Still sane(ish).Still on my way.

Reflection: I’m tired. But tired is not an excuse.It’s not a trigger.It’s not permission to eat, hide, or quit. It’s just tired. So I’m drinking water.I’m finishing my day.I’m not letting the lie whisper,“You deserve something.” I deserve truth.I deserve healing.And I’ll get both — one day at a time. Still…Still tired.Still honest.Still abstinent.

Prayer: Forgive me, God.Not for eating today — but for wanting to.For cussing under my breath at people I love.For pretending I was “fine” when I was not.For being so afraid of failing that I almost sabotaged success. I don’t need a thunderbolt.Just the courage to keep going. Still…Still forgiven.Still flawed.Still walking.

Poem: My brain is a bandit.It sneaks in,packs up old cravings,steals my serenity,and calls it “just thinking.” But I’m on to it now.I set traps with Truth.I lock doors with prayer.I post guards with calls.I don’t let it run the place anymore. It can sneak,but it can’t stay. Still…Still aware.Still armed with willingness.Still guarding my … Read more

Prayer: God, it’s all ashes today.My attitude. My body. My faith.But You promised beauty for ashes.So here they are —Scoop them up. Blow on them.Make something. Even if all I’ve got is a flicker,I trust You to fan it.I’m tired of trying to burn alone. Still…Still smoldering.Still praying.Still trusting You with the match.

Reflection: This disease doesn’t bite clean.It gnaws.Nibbles at my dignity.Chews on my willpower.Sucks the marrow out of my peace. I used to think I had to fight it with bigger weapons.Now I know: I just need to keep my food cleanand my ass in the chair long enough to let God fight for me. Still…Still … Read more

Poem: I gave up cookiesfor clarity.Pizzafor peace.Liesfor light. I traded what filled my bellyfor what fills my soul.And it still hurts.Every. Single. Day. But I’m building something.One weighed meal.One honest share.One call.One prayer.One step. I gave up the thing that was killing mefor the life I never thought I’d deserve. Still…Still making the trade.Still showing … Read more

Prayer: God, I don’t want to talk to You today.But here I am.Because I know too well what happens when I stop.So I kneel — not because I’m noble,but because I’m desperate. I don’t need enlightenment today.I need traction.I need grit.I need grace. So give me just enough light to take the next right action.And … Read more

Reflection: I almost ate today.Not because I was hungry.Because I was angry.Because I wanted to slam a door or scream at someone or disappear.But instead, I sat with it.Didn’t like it. Didn’t fix it. Didn’t eat it. Resentment is a bastard.It dresses up like justice, but it feeds my disease.I let God have it today. … Read more

Reflection: I didn’t float here on good vibes and green juice.I clawed my way through cravings,through lies I told myself,through the hundred reasons to say “screw it.”Thirty days. Not clean. Not perfect. But real.And I didn’t do it alone.God dragged my sorry ass through more than a few of these. I’m tired. I’m grateful. I’m … Read more