Sharp, honest takes that hit hard and fast
Something about milestones makes me twitchy.Day 20 is close and my addict brain knows it.That voice kicks in:“You’ve done well. You deserve a break.”That voice is a liar.I’ve broken more streaks than I can count—right before the breakthrough.Right before the clarity.Right before the habit could stick. There’s this fear that I don’t deserve to heal.So … Read more
Just got off a meeting.Because I’m on the edge.Not in a poetic way. Not in a “breakthrough” kind of way.In a “someone look at me wrong and I might lose it” kind of way. Tired. Restless. Pissed for no reason.And every reason. Didn’t want to pray.Didn’t want to hear one more person say “just for … Read more
Day 16 – Still Want to Eat I still wanna eat. I’m not hungry — just wired that way. Still feel that old flex, the muscle memory of years sneaking bites, finishing plates, grabbing just one more. It’s not gone. Not by a long shot. I’m sloppy. I know it. Not proud of it. I … Read more
Day 15 – DragI didn’t leap into today—I dragged myself.Pulled by prayer, coffee, and the thought of not blowing it.Sometimes victory looks like not quitting.Dragging counts. #OneDayAtATime #DeeBoStyle #ProgressNotPerfection #KeepShowingUp #LowEnergyRecovery #PhoneCalls #PrayerAndAction
It’s so fucking loud.Like I want to pound nails into my ears just to shut the noise up.The voices, the fear, the tension, the self-talk that sounds like an auctioneer on meth—nonstop.I crave food because it drowns it out.But God, I need something deeper.Give me a quiet that doesn’t numb—just holds me. #QuietTime #InnerChaos #RawRecovery … Read more
Sometimes I want to disappear into the food again. Not just nibble. Vanish.That moment when I’m flooded, angry, ashamed, exhausted—and the old voice says, “Just eat. You’ll feel better.”But here’s the truth: I never feel better. I just feel numb. And then worse.Because I’m not hiding from life—I’m killing it. Slowly. Secretly. Bite by bite.Every … Read more
God, I don’t have the power. But I believe You do.Do what I can’t today. #StepOne #PowerGreaterThanMe #SpiritualRecovery #100DaysOfReturn
I made it past the moment. Just one. But it was the one that mattered.The sun started to shine through the cracks.I saw God in a breeze, in a smile from a stranger, in the quiet that followed the craving.Little mercies. Small graces.They were there all along—I just needed the fog to clear. #RecoveryChoice #AbstinenceJourney … Read more
Ah, yes—grit. The crusty cousin of grace.The dirt under your spiritual fingernails. The stuff between your teeth after gnawing on truth too long. Grit doesn’t wait for permission. Grit doesn’t ask how it feels. Grit laces up, shows up, and shuts up when the work begins. Let’s break it down:G.R.I.T. – God. Resilience. Integrity. Tenacity.Or … Read more
Not all hunger is for food.Today I fed the wrong one.I was starving for peace but stuffed my anger instead.Yelled across the room. Slammed a door. Resentment tasted bitter all afternoon.God, help me hunger for the right things tomorrow. #FoodFeelingsFaith #HungerHonesty #100DaysOfReturn #ReturnAgain